It’s no secret many people have trouble embracing who they are. Why is that? What does it mean to embrace who you are? And why is it so hard? Is there anything we can do to change it?
I struggled for a long time on this issue but I’ve learned some things that have changed my life.
Sometimes I still struggle, but not like before.
Part of embracing who you are is embracing your imperfections. You can learn to embrace who you are too.
WHY IT’S HARD
- Because our perception of who we are is skewed by things that have happened to us or people have said to us. We see ourselves as bad, damaged or less than.
- Because we believe the lie that paying attention to our “self” is wrong or sinful.
- Because we don’t see the inherent value in ourselves given to us by God and evaluate our worth in comparison to others.
- Because we’ve been sold a bill of goods about what self is and its role in life—especially by the church.
I struggled with these for years.
There’s a verse in the Bible that confused me. (Actually, there are many but that’s a different story.)
The verse I’m referring to talks about dying to self. How I heard it taught not only invalidated my existence, it sought to annihilate me. How do you embrace what isn’t allowed to exist?
This excerpt from my book explains my struggle:
Growing up I looked into numerous broken mirrors to identify who I was. Some passive, some aggressive but none free. The Pursuer apprehended me for freedom. I didn’t understand so in my previous mode of operation I looked to the authorities I perceived had the power for them to tell me who I was. I heard I had to die to self and be dead in Christ but then I was gonna live but then not I but it was Christ who would live. What the heck does that mean? I did not understand where “I” went if indeed “I” was allowed to exist. But if I was not allowed to exist then why did he bother to do anything? Many times I would be told that my identity was Christ. Either they didn’t understand what I was asking or I didn’t understand what they were telling me. It was erasing me and somehow that seemed wrong. I had tried to do that myself and knew it was wrong. (Chapter 12: Puzzle Pieces)
I’ve learned differently now. I not only have the right to exist—I matter!
You matter!
Self matters!
Part of embracing who you are is embracing your imperfections. You can learn to embrace who you are too. Share on X
WHO ARE YOU?
- YOU are wonderfully imperfect like the rest of us and a most vital human.
- YOU are a treasure chest of gifts, talents, likes, dislikes, quirks, and possibilities. Even if you aren’t aware of any of those.
- YOU are amazing and the object of affection to God. He loves you even if you don’t love him because he’s deemed you valuable. He desires to be connected to you so He loves you first.
- YOU are more powerful than you know. Decision and choice belong to you. Embracing who you are IS within your power. This power resides in your self.
You have good reason to embrace who you are. Doing so will change your life.
You have good reason to embrace who you are. Doing so will change your life. Share on X
HOW TO EMBRACE SELF
To embrace who you are is to love your self.
Start with your decider and chooser. Decide to believe you can learn to embrace who you are, learn to love your self. You can do this because love is a verb and not a feeling.
Learning to embrace who you are is a process.
This process is called self-care. Self-care is about caring for the wonderful person you are. Nurturing your wellbeing.
There is a vast difference between being self-centered and honoring who you are.
- True self-care is honorable.
- True self-care is dealing with the things that make up our self and our life.
True self-care is dealing with the things that make up our self and our life. Share on X
There’s a lot to it and much deeper than going to get a massage or taking a nap.
Although those are nice and sometimes needed.
- One aspect is dealing with our mind.
- Another is dealing with our relationships.
- There are many aspects to true self-care.
Taking care of your self will improve your life in many ways. To help you I made a frameable resource with twenty things self-care deals with that will improve your life called Getting Started with Self-care.
To embrace who you are is to love your self. Share on X
WHAT NEXT
Where have you struggled most? Grab some FREE stuff and lets talk.
- Download Getting Started with Self-care and see where you’d like to start.
- Download Dare to Believe and remind your self you’re worth it.
- Download Loves Manifesto and feel the love.
Danielle, as always, your way of explaining life’s complex situations are wonderfully phrased to comprehend the meaning of personal struggles. You offer excellent insight and value. Thanks, John
Thank you, John. I’m so glad it spoke to you.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here too!
I love how you share your struggles with self-care and how you overcame them. I, too, struggle with this. I am constantly making to-do lists and evaluating my worth based on how much I accomplish in a day and beating myself up if I get derailed. I’ve realized, though, that quality of life is determined by our relationships with others (and ourselves); that it does not need to be a non-stop march toward our goals.
Thank you so much, Kate. I’m so happy to hear it helps that I share. The more I write, the more I see the truth of #healinghappenstogether I used to be so horrendously private and it was harmful to my self. You made my heart so happy.
Thank you for reading and sharing your struggles also! I love how you put it “it does not need to be a non-stop march toward our goals.” I think you’ll love the piece I’m working on for next Tuesday.
Thanks for being a part of the love that heals community!