Being a conqueror is hard. It takes hard work. There’s a verse in the Bible that says there’s a way to be more than a conqueror. It means someone else does all the hard work and you get the benefit. Sounds awesome right?

Yes, and no.

I learned it’s not that simple in real life situations.

I learned it’s hard to be more than a conqueror, and the reason why.

There’s a reason it’s hard to take what someone else works for.

PREPARING

I was in the process of replacing my car. I took a long time to figure out what I wanted. It took me over a year for several reasons.

1. I wasn’t unhappy with my car, it was just getting old.
2. I discovered I get attached to my cars.
3. I didn’t want to lease, and buying is expensive.
4. I’d never owned a new car. That was something other people do.
5. I remembered how hard it was to shop for a car last time.

The last time I shopped for a car I had a bad attitude. I constantly complained I hate shopping for a car. This was making the whole process miserable until my husband reminded me I could change my situation by changing what I was saying.

It was hard, but I did it.

I conquered my bad attitude and was proud of myself.

This time around I had a better attitude. I realized one of my problems before was not knowing what I was looking for. There are so many choices out there it can be overwhelming.

• I needed to be specific.
• I made a list.
• I went online to see what vehicles fit my list.

I wanted four-wheel drive like I had and not all-wheel drive like most cars I found.

This narrowed my choices, which was helpful.

Finally, I felt ready.

MOVING FORWARD

We went to the dealer to look, ask questions, and test drive. We had no intention of buying on that visit.

• I took my list with me.
• He answered all my questions.
• I took a test drive.
• Then we sat down to see what the price was and what payments would be.

I went home with sticker shock. Maybe getting a new car is a mistake.

The next day I looked at used cars.

But I found the used cars had almost as many miles on them as the car I was replacing. My old 2007 Jeep Liberty only had 63,000 miles on it!

For the first time, I saw the value of a new car over a used one.

• I saw myself owning a brand-new car.
• I saw the emotional attachment I’d form with my new car.

It was going to be

MY.

First.

New.

Car.

Ever.

It would be a long relationship and I intended on owning it fully.

I decided what I wanted, and we went back to the dealer for another test drive.

I decided on the Jeep Cherokee Trailhawk and I loved it except for one thing – the seat positioning. Every time I got out of the car I banged my knee on the steering wheel, and every time I got in, I hit my head on the door frame. To conquer this issue, I’d need to move the seat every time I got in and out of the car. Ugh!

I decided I loved the car more than this was a problem, so we moved forward.

As we were looking at options and pricing I found I could get memory seats. I could conquer my seat problem. We worked out the details, filled out our loan application and then we waited.

I was so excited.

I had conquered so many things to get to this point and was proud of myself.

THEN THIS HAPPENED

When we finally heard back, we were approved for a higher interest rate than we had prepared for.

My emotions sank.

My husband found a credit union that could possibly give us a better rate.

• He went to the dealer to get the numbers needed to apply for a different loan and I stayed home.
• He went to the credit union to apply and was approved in minutes with a much lower rate.

You’d think I’d be happy—but I wasn’t.

What was wrong with me?

I felt robbed.

Because I stayed home my name wasn’t on this loan but had been on the first.

Me.

My.

Mine.

I felt like it wasn’t my car anymore, now it was my husband’s. I felt inadequate. I wasn’t there so they couldn’t put my name on it. My husband is the breadwinner and I felt small. I felt weak. I felt ashamed.

I prayed for help.

ENTER GRACE

What was wrong with me? I was exhibiting stubborn pride but was too blind to see it.

In my blindness I needed grace and the Spirit of Grace freely gave it.

• A Bible passage
• Words I scribbled on a sticky note from a sermon I heard.
• And another Bible verse

All three came rushing into my heart.

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

Your strength is a hindrance to my strength.

[Your strength is like a little child saying I can do it myself.]

Grace is attracted to your weakness.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37 NIV

I saw it clearly.

I was being a stubborn little child with my heart proudly crying I want to do it myself.

My husband graciously reminded me the car will be mine and my name will be on the title.

But I wanted to be the conqueror. The conqueror is the one who gets the glory.

It takes humility to be more than a conqueror, humbly giving the glory to the conqueror.

Humility is hard when pride is raging in your soul.

But Grace!

On that day, in that emotional moment, the Spirit of Grace simply empowered me to receive.

It was almost a week later before He brought the correction I needed showing me it was hard because I needed humility to conquer the stubborn pride in me and give the glory to another.

I’m so thankful for grace!

WHAT NEXT

There is no shame in weakness and asking for help.

• Owning the truth of finding yourself in pride is hard. Where have you struggled with pride?
• Owning the grace to humble yourself is empowering. Where has grace empowered you?

Danielle Bernock

Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

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