What's The Big Deal About Your Inner Life?

What’s The Big Deal About Your Inner Life?

 

Your inner life is the most important part of your life. How dare I say that? I know from experience. I used to have a toxic inner life and didn’t understand what a big deal it was.

Dealing with our inner lives isn’t sitting around navel gazing either.

Some think this but they’re wrong.

In fact, those who refuse to deal with their inner lives, dismissing them as trivial, steal from themselves and others. They steal from themselves the ability to become all they’re designed to be, and they steal from the world the amazingness God has planted within them.

Choosing to value and deal with your inner life will give you a better life.

 

WHAT IS THIS THING CALLED THE INNER LIFE.

Simply put, the inner life is what goes on inside us. Where we don’t see with our eyeballs. Where we don’t always pay attention.

It’s our thoughts, feelings, memories, decisions, hopes, dreams, hurts, opinions, attitudes, beliefs, sense of purpose and value, etc.

It’s where we get hung up and have problems. It’s where trauma occurs. It’s the part we tend to hide.

It’s where fear and shame seek to build a home.

It’s messy.

Many avoid dealing with the inner life because it takes courage.

 

WHY DEAL WITH IT?

Because everything, and I mean everything, in your outer life flows out of your inner life.

Life is messy all by itself, whether you choose to deal with your inner life or not. Dealing with your inner life won’t make your life perfect but what it will do is empower you.

Thoughts can be unruly. Emotions can be messy. Beliefs can be complicated. But that doesn’t make them bad.

By dealing with your inner life you’ll develop skills to govern yourself.

 

IT’S AN ONGOING PROCESS

I started dealing with my inner life and I’ve made a lot of progress, but I’m still learning. One thing I had to learn is that it’s not once and done, but a process called self-care.

I understand information but that doesn’t automatically translate into action. I do dumb things. I still get upset at myself.

But thankfully one of the skills we can learn to practice is self-compassion. It comes in real handy when we’re tempted to start beating on ourselves.

The process of dealing with your inner life isn’t a neat and organized.

 

IT’S OK THAT IT’S MESSY

I was raised to be nice and proper and polite and controlled and learned King James Version Christianity. “Children are to be seen and not heard” – translation, keep your mess to yourself.

But inside me? It wasn’t always nice or proper or polite or controlled or King Jimmy. It still isn’t. My inner life is messy and I’ve learned that it’s ok.

Even when it comes to what I believe. That used to scare me. I have a strong faith but it’s not neat and organized. It’s messy too.

I have questions without answers.

But I’m not scared anymore. His perfect love has gotten rid of that fear.

My broken traumatized heart finally learned he is not angered by our questions but finds joy in our curiosity.

I’ve come through so many things in my life and grown tremendously. The more I learn, the more questions I have and that’s ok too.

Questions are the tools of the explorer; they are the treasure maps and flashlights of the heart hunter. By them we find the trails and tunnels into the inner life of another human heart. – Sam Williamson

Questions might seem messy but can bring about healing.

 

DEALING WITH OUR INNER LIFE BRINGS HEALING

I don’t want to come across like some know it all guru trying to fix you.

I can’t fix you. I can’t fix me.

What I can do is love you and come along side to help you, because I have learned how to love me.

And you know how I learned to love myself?

I finally came to believe that I am loved, deeply loved in spite of my inner mess. It took me a horribly long time. Years.

I can save you time by sharing what I’ve learned and you can love your self.

Love is what brings healing.

 

YOU ARE LOVED – MESS AND ALL

Knowing we’re loved makes us a beautiful mess.

The loving God I know (aka The Pursuer) has a grace that’s more than enough to love us into wholeness.

When our inner life is not valued, ugly things happen. But if we’ll dare to love our self enough to care about our inner life we can become like a watered garden.

inner mess or garden

 

Even the best of gardens need constant tending.  Likewise, our inner life needs constant tending also.

It’s not easy or superficial, it goes deep like getting the root of a nasty weed.

Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much. But you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are. Once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin. ― Tori Amos

Will you be brave enough to look inside you? You’re not alone. I’m here to help.

Coming to see your inner life as beautiful mess is a big deal.

 

TAKE ACTION

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Danielle Bernock
Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

Danielle Bernock

Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    thanks for all your encouragement for my past sins and present news has like today has caused me greef and I have all day felt like just sleeping . This has happened many times recently . I on average takes me two or three hours to fall asleep example I go to bed at ten and one or two am still awake not good. I have with Lesley decided today to cut out Fix news and riots and police bashing for I live the crap in my mind for hours. thanks Danielle for your encouragement. I wish I was a tough guy and not a feely emotional guy. God bless Jim Sand

    1. Danielle Bernock

      You’re welcome, Jim. I’m so sorry you’ve been suffering.

      I agree that it’s wise to limit the news. It can be so inciting to our emotions and then our body responds. Sometimes it’s tension, other times it effects sleep like you said.

      As for being a “tough guy” that is overrated. Be YOU. No one else can be and I celebrate who you are. You are a precious soul brother.

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