Grief strikes and the pain is deep. Questions seek to alleviate it but sometimes make it worse. But there’s a balm to heal the heart no matter how big the hole.
It happened again. Two times in less than three months tragedy struck right before a joyous planned vacation. How do you go on vacation when your soul is bleeding pain?
There’s only one balm for that.
The first time
It happened a couple months ago. My husband and I had the trip planned for over a year. We were going to Franklin Tennessee for my Tribe Writer’s Conference adding in days to go ziplining and visit downtown Nashville.
But the day before departure death stole a grandbaby from our lives. The second miscarriage for our son and daughter-in-love.
Tears flow.
Pain.
Anguish.
Questions with no answers.
More pain.
I wrote about it in What You Need When Grief Screams.
Writing about it helped. But it didn’t bring the healing I needed.
There’s only one balm for that.
Grief strikes and the pain is deep. There’s only one balm for that. Share on XThis second time
My husband and I are planners. Spontaneity is something a bit difficult for us but we’re working on it. For example, this last trip my husband and I took a chance to be spontaneous. He suddenly had three days off work during the first week of the New Year giving him a full week off work. We thought we should go somewhere and celebrate our anniversary early.
So, we booked the trip. But on the day we finished planning and purchasing our excursions and activities for the trip the evening brought the awful news of a young man gone too soon. My son’s friend Ryan from back before girlfriends, weddings and babies.
My heart cried out NOOOOO!
Tears flow.
I can’t sleep, and I remember them being Best Man for each other.
I remember Ryan meeting his wife and making us gumbo.
I remember how my son and he were joined in heart even though geography and life events put space between them.
Still, I remember.
Pain.
Sorrow.
What about his babies? He left behind three beautiful children for his wife to raise alone. What deep pain she has.
And now I’m supposed to go on vacation with this pain in my soul?
There’s only one balm for that.
You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. ―
People respond
In both situations, the love of friends and family rush to comfort. Surrounding them with love and prayers and practical help. The community is amazing and brings much-needed help.
People helping is something I didn’t have as a child when I lost my grandma, dad, and brother. I had no knowledge of the balm that could bring healing. Suffering alone compounds suffering.
It’s helpful to be surrounded by people supporting and encouraging, sitting and listening, being there in the silence of the pain. But they can’t truly touch the deepest part of our soul and heal the pain.
There’s only one balm for that.
Suffering alone compounds suffering. Share on XThe Balm
The only one who can touch and heal the deepest part of our soul is the one who created it. Only the Almighty God, the source of all life who loves us deeper than we can truly fathom can provide the balm we need.
The balm is applied by Spirit of Grace as we worship the one who is worthy.
When we worship our creator, our redeemer, our source of comfort; music, spirit, and words rock our bleeding soul like a momma rocks her baby whispering
I got you I got you.
This is the only balm that heals.
The balm that heals can also restore - but first, we heal. Share on XWhy we need the balm
Pain is a part of life on this earth. Jesus told us it would be so.
I don’t like it, but I understand true freedom is in free choice.
Free choice makes bad decisions at times and these have cascaded over the years into a tangled mess of negative happenings intertwined in all of humanity. There are no fingers to point and no one to blame. It’s cause and effect over the ages. Pain and trouble are evidence of our need for the balm, our need for salvation. God wants to heal us.
One day we’ll be free of the pain – like my grandbabies and my son’s friend Ryan.
But while we’re here we need the balm and each other. Apply both generously and healing comes. Joy can even be restored.
The balm that heals can also restore – but first, we heal.
To heal we must feel safe.
What now
Here is a song to make you feel loved and safe.
- Share how you’ve been comforted by the balm of the Spirit of Grace.
- What is your favorite song that brings you comfort?
- Sign up for my newsletter and let me know how I can be of help here.
I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. I know it must be terribly difficult for you, your son, and Ryan’s family. Music definitely has the power to comfort, heal, and bring joy. Lately I’ve been listening a lot to Michael Jackson’s Keep the Faith. It’s not one of his bigger hits but it’s an incredibly uplifting song.
Thank you, Kate. Yes, it is quite a blow. Ryan struggled with a heart condition his whole life but still…
Music is powerful in so many ways. In fact, my article for next week is about how a specific song affected me and helped me heal.
Thanks again, Kate.
The way you wrote about being rocked and being told “I got you, I got you” brought tears to my eyes. Keep writing. I love reading your work.
Wow, I’m so happy it touched you so deeply and that you love my work.
Thank you for telling me, Michael.
I am so sorry for your loss. I admire the strength you have in your faith. A quality which I currently lack.
Thank you, Bernadette. I was just thinking about you this morning, wondering how you were. It’s so lovely to hear from you.
I understand struggling in faith. Been there. In fact, just last October. I wrote about it here. Perhaps it will encourage you.
I know you’ve been on a long journey of recovery. Sending love and prayers for strength.