Have you ever been arrested by a song? A moment in time where it just made you stop and take notice of something and contemplate deep things? It’s powerful.
It happened to me with the song Slow Down by Nicole Nordeman.
It’s a deeply emotional look at the love of a mother for her child as they grow through the moments of time.
From birth, through milestones, and into adulthood the mom is noticing how fast the time is passing and how quickly her child is growing. She wants the child to slow down in their growing up.
It’s a precious song that brings tears to your eyes. I get it. I’m a mom. I felt those same feelings myself before.
But not this time.
Moment of truth
This time I heard a voice in me speaking to the mom.
They can’t nor should they.
It arrested me. I felt a twinge of guilt as if I was being rude or lacking in compassion.
It surprised me because I understand the sentiment of the song.
But this time I understood something different.
My children are grown and have children of their own. Which means I have grandchildren. I watched the music video imagining my grandchildren going through those changes and felt a strange surge of emotions.
Memories of emotions when my kids were small and I wanted to pause those moments. New emotions forged by years of experience that understood the futility in wishing to do so.
We can’t control time.
All the wishing our kids would slow down will not change the passage of time.
Powerful truth
In the song, there’s something that intensifies the mom’s tendency to cling.
Nicole sings:
Before I knew it you were trying to free your fingers from my hand ’cause you could do it on your own now somehow… I pointed to the sky and now you wanna fly.
The excitement of new things creates in a child an eagerness to discover, to let go…separate.
As children grow there are more exciting opportunities, possibilities, and adventures that await.
- They can’t wait to be big enough to…
- They can’t wait to start going to…
- They can’t wait…
They want time to hurry up.
It cannot, nor should it.
Adults fall prey to this as well. Especially when times are hard.
I’ve done it.
We want time to speed up with thoughts like:
- When I get a better job…
- When the baby is out of diapers…
- When we can get a bigger place to live…
But Trace Adkins is right in his song You’re Gonna Miss This. He sings:
You’re gonna want this back
You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast.
Trying to rush time is futile. Our attempts only cause a diversion.
The passing of time is why it’s important to focus on what’s important. Share on X
The diversion
The desire for time to slow down or to speed up is natural but it doesn’t serve us well.
It betrays us.
When our minds race ahead mourning the loss of what we have right now — it causes a diversion.
When our emotions seek relief through wishing for better times — it causes a diversion.
Both desires are illusions but take from us something we can never get back — that moment in time.
The diversion steals the moment we are in.
Failure to focus on what’s important causes loss. Share on X
Time is like sand
Time is compared to sand using the term the sands of time. Each grain represents a minuscule moment in time.
When life feels like sand leaking through our fingers we need to resist the temptation to clench our fists and fall prey to the diversion.
The passing of time is why it’s important to focus on what’s important.
Instead of trying to hold it all in our clenched hand we need to release, to feel it with our fingers and in-between our toes. We need to immerse our intentions in it like we bury each other at the beach.
We need to savor moments. Be present. Enjoy the journey.
Like sandcastles are made out of sand, we can make memories out of moments.
Life is like running water
Running water is a constant force. It’s in continuous movement and the only way to partake is through contact.
You can’t hold running water. If you hold water it’s no longer running.
The life is in the movement.
The life in our children is a constant flow.
We are energized by the connection. That’s what we want to keep forever.
Every stage has its amazingness. Life is miraculous and we are in awe of it. We want to capture every moment and hold it forever.
I know I find myself trying to do this with photographs. They are great reminders but a photograph is not alive. It’s holding water in your hand.
Being present in the moment, experiencing fully what is going on, and connecting heart to heart is feeling the water of life run through our fingers.
Life, like time, is continually moving.
Life is like running water. The life is in the movement. Share on X
That’s why it’s important to focus on what’s important.
Priorities are how we make time for what’s important.
Failure to focus on what’s important causes loss like in Harry Chapin’s song Cats in the Cradle where the dad was too busy to spend time with the son and so when he’s old the son has no time to spend with him. It’s horribly sad.
We are energized by the connection. That's what we want to keep forever. Share on X
Spend time wisely.
Because it cannot slow down nor speed up.
Time is not subject to us.
We have no control over it, but we do have control over how we use it. This is where we have power.
When the song arrested me it was so clear. Moments come and go. Capturing them in our hearts, building relationship, and sharing life with each other is what life and love are all about.
Building relationship, & sharing life with each other is what life & love are all about. Share on XThis goes beyond our children.
Think about it when you go on vacation.
Savor moments.
Live in the time. Taste and enjoy it as it goes by.
Don’t try to slow down or speed up. Engage in your life. Live.
What Next:
- Do you spend your time with intention?
- Can you see where the diversion steals moments of time?
- If you don’t have it yet, get Love’s Manifesto here and know you deserve to enjoy your life and live loved!
- For help staying connected to your kids get Loving Our Kids On Purpose.
- Share this and help someone else
Your post today reminds me of my son’s book, So Am I. If Livie taught them anything, she taught them to stay in the moment. If they did’n’t they would miss what they had with her. I struggled with this because my mind kept running ahead. It ran ahead to when she would die. I knew they would be in such pain. Still they lived every day as if it would be her last because they knew the Trisomy 18 was terminal. In fact, it was sometimes called an incompatibility with life. And yet, she did live for 14 months. She breathed in and out. She learned how to drink from a sippie cup. She made little raspberry sounds with Daddy. She moved her head to music. He life was short but she lived every day to the fullest. Well, I guess that’s all I wanted to say. Livie is on my mind.
Thank you for sharing, Anne. I can see how you would think of Livie and your family. It makes perfect sense. I’m so sorry for your pain.
I’m happy for them that they were able to savor those moments with her. Even though they are salted with pain they will carry a joy also – both no one can take away from them.
You’ve been on my mind – and in my prayers.
Great post. Thanks for this reminder, Danielle! 🙂
Thank you Nicole. And thank you for reading and commenting too.
I believe journaling is a powerful tool for capturing those moments in time. Both the moments you wanted to just go away (guess what….they have gone) and those you will want to remember. Just this morning I saw a reflection on when my then 1.5 year old would love to walk backwards while my wife and I made the ‘beep beep beep’ sound of a backing up truck. I can see his binky-fillled smile today. He’s 13 now…..you can fill in the blanks about what’s going into the journal these days….
That’s awesome! I can envision your little one backing up with the ‘beep beep beep’. Those snapshots we have in our memory banks are precious and journaling is a great way to revisit them. Thank you for reading and sharing!
Great way of looking at so many wonderful moments.
Thank you, Natasha. And thank you for reading & commenting.
Tomorrow will always promise to be the best time to achieve today’s assignment. What a broken promise. Today is your best time ever!
Yes sir. So true. Thank you for reading and sharing!
Thank you, Danielle. Great post. My daughter is 11. I get so sad sometimes wishing she still did the things she did when she was younger. I really miss when we took Taekwondo together. I told her that I’m going to start taking ballet with her. She insisted that I not. So yes, I’m frequently guilty of wanting time to slow down.
You’re welcome, Shayne & thanks.
I understand. When that happens we have to find new things to do together. Sometimes that comes easy, sometimes it takes some work – but it’s worth the effort to build the relationship.
I can imagine the eye roll or the “oh dad!” you might have gotten when you said you were going to take ballet with her. 🙂
Thanks for sharing!