Rejection is enormously painful. Just the other day, I was reminded of this fact.

It’s a gut-punch. A deep ache. An inner scream. It feels like failure and abandonment.

The words “not good enough” echoed inside us. It doesn’t make a difference if it’s from a job, a relationship, a dream, or even from ourselves; oftentimes, dejection is the feeling that follows.

And if you’ve experienced trauma in your past, like I did, it can run even deeper.

But what if rejection didn’t have the final say?

What if we could “revision” rejection—not as a soul-crushing defeat, but as a powerful redirection?

Rejection as a Trauma Trigger

For trauma survivors, feelings of rejection run deep. When it happens again, it slaps old wounds, often ones we’ve tried to bury or move on from.

Rejection isn’t just about feelings. When it happens, it affects our body and our nervous system. The body moves into protection mode due to sensing danger or even abandonment.

This is especially true for those made to feel unwanted or unworthy as children or in past relationships. I can relate.

So, hear me when I say, rejection is a beast.
You’re not too sensitive. You’re not overreacting. You’re human, and you’ve lived through some things that made you question your worth.

But things can be different going forward.

Rejection is Redirection: A Truth Worth Holding Onto

When my husband and I were watching The Equalizer on Netflix, Robyn, played by Queen Latifah, said words that rocked my world. Her daughter Delilah was experiencing dejection from being rejected by a college she had applied to. She was lost and couldn’t see her way out. Until her mother gave her a new vision of rejection.

She said, “Rejection is redirection,” and then she elaborated for her.

Four words. But what a reframe. Wow!

What if the “no” that broke your heart was actually grace in disguise? What if it was life—God—gently steering you away from something not meant for you?

What if you didn’t get that job because there’s a better fit waiting for you?
What if that relationship ended because your spirit was being preserved for a real and lasting love?
What if that door closed because a different one, one you haven’t even imagined yet, is being prepared behind the scenes?

What if the “no” isn’t a no, but a “not yet” or “not there”?

Can you revision it?

This isn’t toxic positivity. This is a sacred perspective shift.

An Invitation for Revision

The word “revision” means to “see again”—to look again with new eyes. It’s an invitation to see differently. We don’t erase what happened or pretend it didn’t hurt. We just allow ourselves to look again and ask: Is there something here that could be working for me instead of against me?

This takes time. It takes honesty. And it takes grace—lots of it.

So know this – you are not alone, and here is some S.E.L.F.© help.

Step 1: SEE – Honor the Hurt

Rejection is painful. Don’t skip this part. Don’t rush into “silver lining” mode. The trauma-informed path honors your real, raw emotion first.
Cry if you need to. Journal about what it brought up. Talk to someone you trust. Let yourself be sad, mad, disappointed, or confused. Rejection deserves to be felt before it can be reframed.

Unprocessed pain doesn’t go away—it just hides, waiting to resurface later. This is so important to acknowledge.

So be gentle with yourself. You’re doing sacred work.

Step 2: EXPOSE – Get Curious Instead of Critical

After you’ve allowed space for your feelings, try gently asking:

• What might this rejection be protecting me from?
• What could it be redirecting me toward?
• What would I say to someone I love going through this?

Curiosity opens the door to insight. It invites God, love, and healing into the space that shame used to occupy.

And remember—this isn’t about blaming yourself or the other person. It’s about learning. Listening. Growing.

Step 3: LOVE – Anchor in Your Worth

You matter.

You are not what you lost.
You are not the opportunity that passed you by.
You are not less because someone couldn’t see your value.

Your worth is not up for debate. You value is inherent and God-given.

When we make rejection mean something about who we are, we give it too much power. Let rejection speak, but don’t let it define you. Instead, anchor yourself in truth:

You are loved. God is a “waymaker”—even if you can’t see the destination yet.

Step 4: FREE – Choose Your Next Aligned Step

Once you’ve processed and re-centered, you’ll be ready to move forward, not in reaction mode, but instead responding with hope and peace.
That’s where the redirection comes in.

It’s a change in course.

Maybe it’s applying for a job that actually lights you up.
Maybe it’s starting your own thing.
Maybe it’s investing in healing, self-love, or a supportive community.

Maybe it’s repairing your relationship with yourself before you can repair another one.

This is where coaching can be a powerful next step.

What Coaching Can Offer You

As a trauma-informed self-love coach, I help people repair their relationship with themselves and with others.

Wherever rejection left a wound, love can bring healing.

Whatever story rejection is trying to tell you, it can be rewritten with compassion, clarity, and courage.

You don’t have to navigate this alone.
You deserve a space where your story is safe, your heart is seen, and your growth is honored.

If this message speaks to you, I invite you to reach out to someone you trust.

Remember

Rejection isn’t the end of your story.
It could be the beginning of a new, more aligned chapter.
Take courage. You can build something better.

Let’s walk there, together. 💛

Let’s explore how coaching could support your journey to self-worth, clarity, and new purpose.

Leave me a comment below or book a free discovery call HERE.

Your healing matters. You matter. I love you.