Stress can ruin the holiday season. Holidays are established for the purpose of remembering and celebrating. That sounds enjoyable and relaxing, not stressful.

How do we end up with so much stress when the whole point is to enjoy?

Our focus gets highjacked by a multitude of things we can’t humanly tend to peaceably.

To overcome holiday stress, you need to intentionally R.E.L.A.X.

REALIZE

First and foremost, you must realize what you can and can’t do.

• You can’t do everything.
• You can’t be everywhere.
• You can’t make everyone happy.

For example, you can’t be in two places at the same time. So, when you’re invited to two parties that are at the same time you need to realize you can’t do both.

When stress says to you that if you don’t do xyz they won’t be happy, you need to realize that you’re not in charge of other people’s attitudes and responses—only your own.

Realize and remember you are human and have limitations.

EVALUATE

There are many wonderful as well as excessive things that can be done every holiday season. You need to evaluate what you think.

• What is important to you?
• What matters to you about this holiday?
• Who are the important people in your life?
• Do you have responsibilities?
• Are the expectations put on you reasonable?
• What do you want this holiday to look like?

By evaluating what matters to you, you can avoid spending money you don’t have, on things you don’t need, to impress people you don’t like.

Likewise, you can avoid spending time you don’t have, doing things you don’t want, for people who need to tend to their own responsibilities.

Evaluating what’s important to you can bring intention into your holiday season.

LIST

Make a list of the things using the questions above. Write it all down so you can see what you’re dealing with. Then prioritize them.

Some of your answers might be emotions and some might be tasks to complete. Separate those into different lists. Make what you want visible to yourself.

Don’t be afraid to add or subtract to your list. It’s your list.

Making a list of what you want in this holiday season will guide your decisions.

ARRANGE

Arrange when the things on your list are going to get done and who is going to do them. Remember you can’t do everything so don’t be afraid to delegate, get help or hire out if need be.

Using a calendar is a great tool. Here is a December 2018 calendar for you to print. This will also help you see when there are time conflicts and you can make an intentional choice.

• Print out three copies of the calendar if you need some days broken down into many time slots. Use one each for mornings, afternoons and evenings.
• Some things on your list will have a clear date and time, like a work Christmas party, or a child’s Christmas program. These are easy to put on the calendar.
• Other things will have a deadline. These things may be broken into pieces. For example, you could schedule multiple slots for baking cookies, shopping, and wrapping presents between other things on your schedule.

When you make changes to your list, make those same changes to your calendar.

Some things might have been forgotten at the beginning so when you remember them, or new things enter the picture, you can put them in an empty time slot.

Arranging things in your holiday season will provide spaces for you relax.

eXHALE

Remember to breathe.

Pause. Take a couple minutes here and there to catch your breath.

Honor your humanity and let yourself relax for a minute. The world will not stop spinning if you pause for sixty seconds.

• Take a minute or two for quiet meditation each day. It will do wonders for your sanity and health.
• Remember the Spirit of Grace is just a breath away. Call on Him for help. He’s also called the help-er.
• Stop and take in the beauty of the season—lights, smells, sounds, colors…
• And when something new wants to enter your schedule and there isn’t a spot, take a breath and say no to something. Either that new thing or remove something else.

The holiday season is for enjoying, not spending yourself until you’re exhausted.

WHAT NEXT

• Remember to love yourself as much as you love others. If you take care of you, you can better take care of those you love AND you’ll enjoy your holiday also.
• Remember — You’re human — this is for you.
• Subscribe to my newsletter and get a gift here.

Danielle Bernock

Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

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