An unruly mind and unruly emotions. What do they have to do with one another? Our emotions can get quite unruly, especially if we’ve suffered trauma. But they aren’t responsible for all our troubles.
Our minds play a vital role in relation in how unruly our emotions are.
The mind by definition is responsible for processing feelings and emotions, so unruly emotions stem from an unruly mind.
If you want peace in your life, you need to learn how to free yourself from an unruly mind.
WHERE IT ALL STARTS
As we grow up we learn things. We go to school and learn to read, write, do math, and countless other intellectual things that use our minds.
But we’re not computers.
We’re people.
We have a soul.
This soul thing is made up of our emotions, our will, and our mind. These are three distinct parts of who we are, but they’re not designed to operated independently of one another.
When they fail to operate interdependently, there is chaos and we suffer.
I know from experience.
I was an above average student throughout school (when I paid attention). But I didn’t know I had the ability to control the thoughts in my mind that were unrelated to school work.
Being a very sensitive and empathic person my emotions ran my inner life.
They weren’t allowed to run my outer life. The authorities around me did that. I was told children were to be seen and not heard so I was given no voice. I grew up in a very authoritarian house where choices were made for me. That was until my father died and our family imploded. The home atmosphere went from overbearing control to uncontrolled chaos.
Voiceless, and choiceless, I had no idea how to tame the unruly mind raging within me. My life went on like this for years until The LOVE that Heals found me and started teaching me.
No matter how unruly your mind has become, freedom is possible.
WE CAN BE FREE THROUGH MASTERY
Freedom comes from taking ownership of your mind and mastering it.
First, let’s look at what the mind is.
The mind is a set of cognitive faculties including consciousness, perception, thinking, judgement, and memory.
The mind is the faculty of a human being’s reasoning and thoughts. It holds the power of imagination, recognition, and appreciation, and is responsible for processing feelings and emotions, resulting in attitudes and actions. **
The mind is not just one thing. It has many functions. Learning how to operate the mind successfully requires skill. This is important to take note of because acquiring any skill takes learning and time.
Thinking is something we all do constantly. We don’t even have to be paying attention for our mind to be busy with thoughts of this and that.
If we want a peace filled, positive, and happy life, we can’t hold on to a negative unruly mind. We need to change how we think. But we need to learn how.
It takes more than just being told to think differently.*
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. —William James Psychologist, Philosopher, Author
How to Master the Mind
Implement the following four steps to master your mind.
LISTEN
Listen to your mind, your thoughts (aka – the voices in your head). Take note of what you are thinking about.
In The Listening Life, Adam S. McHugh writes how his director likens the voices in his head to a classroom of seventh graders. You have one kid looking out the window, you have one raising her hand to answer every question, one thinking about sex, one who is counting down until lunch, one who cheats on tests, one who is acting out for attention and another who bullies all the rest of them.
What are your voices saying? Sometimes they speak in emotion and not words.
Notice how they speak.
QUESTION
Question the thoughts in your mind. What language are your thoughts speaking in? Identify what kind of thoughts they are.
Are they single thoughts, trains of thought, or sequences? If trains, where do they end? Do they end nicely or derail you emotionally?
- Are the thoughts kind?
- Are the thoughts mean?
- Are the thoughts fearful?
- Are the thoughts about you? Or are they about another person?
- Are the thoughts beneficial or distracting?
- How are the thoughts making you feel?
The answer to these questions will prepare you for the next step.
CHOOSE
This is the step where you take ownership of your mind.
- You decide what you want to allow in your mind. What stays in your mind is in your power.
- You get to decide if you like what is going on in your head.
- You get to decide if you want to continue that thought process.
- You get to decide if you want to ride the trains you find.
- You get to decide if you need a new train.
- You get to decide what needs to be changed.
We fall down on this when we don’t do the listening and questioning, when we believe the lie that we are powerless.
The LOVE that Heals* gives us the power to take ahold of our thoughts.
You are not powerless.
TRAIN
Train your mind through repetition.
You can tell your mind what to think.
You can take the thoughts you don’t want and intentionally replace them with what you do want.
Simply telling yourself you are not going to think a negative thought is insufficient. The negative thought must be replaced. Taking it out leaves a hole that needs to be filled.
You can tell your mind how to think.
To take a new train you build a new mindset. Mindsets are called that because they are “set” or established thought patterns.*
Building a new mindset is done by intentionally putting new thoughts in your mind over and over and over.
There are obvious mindsets and hidden ones.
Obvious ones are … obvious. So you know what you are addressing.
The hidden ones are the thought processes so engrained you’re not aware of them. They are what take place when you “find” yourself in an emotional heap wondering what just happened. These can be mastered as well.
I was held captive by a hidden one for years. Implementing what I call a “silver bullet” is what set me free.
A silver bullet is a specific short verbal response to say “instead” of what the emotions or fear wanted to say.* I am free now!
By learning to master your mind, you’ll tame the unruly mindsets that cause unruly emotions and attitudes.
Becoming the master of your mind takes a lot of effort and intention but worth every bit.
WHAT NOW
- Where do you struggle the most in your thinking?
- Are you struggling with fearful thoughts and anxiety?
- Register for this 90 minute workshop here.
Grab a free resource to help you here.
*From Emerging With Wings
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