When 2020 began, emotions were high with hopeful expectation. Vision was a word we connected to the new year. It wasn’t long before uncertainty stripped us of our plans, handing us a global pandemic to navigate instead. We didn’t see that coming. So much for 2020 vision.
How are you emotionally navigating through these uncertain times?
Are you fearful? Angry? Frustrated? Grieving? Disoriented? Depressed?
Maybe you’re all of those depending on the day or hour. The emotional complexity of this time is mind-boggling.
Uncertainty is difficult to navigate because there can be no concrete plan.
IS EMOTIONAL PREPARATION POSSIBLE
Once uncertain times overtake us preparation is no longer possible. What we can do is look inside ourselves to see how much preparation is already there.
I thought I was prepared for what this year had to dish out.
Then in March, the emotional onslaught came…
I heard of the coronavirus before March, when it hit the US in January, and when the first death happened in February. Then it showed up in my home state on March 10th.
Still, I felt emotionally prepared and made videos to encourage others.
But then on the 11th, it was labeled a pandemic. Before the end of that week, emotions intensified as events canceled, and schools closed. What? Why? Are you sure?
The following week churches went online, restaurants closed, salons closed, my husband was set on temporary layoff, and I was labeled high risk.
Even though I still felt mentally settled and emotionally prepared…
…my body betrayed me.
All that emotion caused my body to vibrate under the stress of it. My heartbeat felt more intense. My hands shook slightly at times. And my gut responded in a volatile way.
Although I was prepared as I could be, there are some things you just can’t prepare for, and there’s no shame in that.
If you’ve been struggling in any way, there’s no shame for you either!
These uncertain times have been too much, too fast, and changing every day, if not moment by moment. That is uncertainty in motion and it complicates things.
Uncertainty causes complex emotions and needs.
Uncertainty causes complex emotions and needs. Share on X
COMPLEX EMOTIONS
Complex emotions have the ability to sideline us. They can take us out of the game by disrupting a moment, a day, or even longer. I’ve been sidelined more than once in my life. But I’ve found the way back into the game.
It’s simple, but not always easy. It’s our superpower. The power of choice. We always have a choice of how to respond to what life throws at us.
We can choose our attitude (positive or negative). We can choose what we are going to focus on (problem or solution).
Invoking our power of choice is acting with intention.
To deal with my complex emotions that caused an involuntary bodily reaction I chose intention. I took the time to quiet myself and listen to what my emotions were saying.
Emotions are screaming out needs. We have to listen. We must identify them and meet them.
My emotions told me I needed to validate them and physically calm them. I did.
I used to have a hard time with that. I didn’t allow myself to have needs. But I learned while writing my 1st book, needs are not evidence of weakness, but humanity.
When I found this meme online quoting my book it told me I’m not the only one who’s struggled with having needs.
Because you’re human you have needs—and they deserve to be met.
Because you’re human you have needs—and they deserve to be met. Share on X
EMOTIONAL NEEDS
We need to know we’re loved. We need to feel supported. We need to feel understood. We need to feel connected. (And the list goes on…)
Shelter in place complicates getting our emotional needs met, but we can overcome the difficulty. I’ve seen it as people rise up to meet the needs of others.
Some paint rocks and drop them in places to speak of hope and love. Some bring people groceries. Some share a meal honoring the social distancing. Some hug through a window. Some send fun mail. Some host a thing called #playontheporch Some host a birthday parade of cars. Some give a social distance kind of hug. Some bring your pony to your house for your birthday.
Everyone has different abilities and availability. What matters is that we share what we have. When we all show up with what we have, we emerge stronger, because our needs got met. Both the need to provide support and the need to be supported.
So why does it matter?
Because YOU have emotional needs and it matters that they get met.
Emotional needs that go unmet don’t disappear. They go underground only to resurface again. This might be through acting out (arguments, being critical, overeating, or drinking). Or by making the body sick in various ways (from colds to cancer).
Just like the body needs food and water or it will die, the emotional aspect of your life has needs also. Have you stopped to listen to what your emotions are asking for during this pandemic?
Do you know how to do that?
Does it scare you to think about it?
Many people are afraid to look inside themselves. But…
The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek. —Joe Campbell
I read the book The Listening Life by Adam S. McHugh. I highly recommend it. In it he says:
How you listen to yourself will determine how you listen to others. Do you dismiss your own emotions?
Our emotions are a part of us. Dismissing them is dismissing a part of our self.
If a part of our self is inactive we are incomplete and our relationships will suffer.
Proper self-care is necessary for healthy emotions and relationships.
Listen to your emotions and ask for help when you need it.
Uncertain times are hard but we can be there for, listen to, and carry each other because we need each other.
WHAT NEXT
- Are you in need of being carried or are you in a place to carry others? Please share in the comments.
- More articles on emotional needs click here.
Listen to this old but timeless song. I will carry you by Michael W Smith.
