Knowing you matter is important. Knowing that you matter is only second to knowing that you’re loved. It matters so much your life depends on it.

When people feel like they don’t matter they get depressed and withdraw. Isolation and depression are miserable company to keep. Misery drives people to self-harm and sometimes suicide.

Knowing you matter can change everything.

WHAT IT MEANS TO KNOW YOU MATTER

Knowing you matter isn’t about being self-absorbed or narcissistic.

Knowing you matter is proper self-esteem. It’s seeing and understanding your inherent value as a human being.

God created humans with value and glory that surpassed the angels. The Bible says He created us just a little lower than himself.

If that wasn’t enough when humanity fell from that glory God got it back for us through Jesus.

God says you matter!

CHANGE HOW YOU SEE

David Mike is a writer friend of mine. I read his book Dishonor: One Soldier’s Journey from Desertion to Redemption.

In his book, he has a moment where his value is revealed to him while in prison. This moment changes him.

David had many people praying for him through his story, but this one person stands out. A woman named Mary Sue.

God put David on her heart even though she didn’t know him personally. She found out about him through another person who went to her church who knew David. Mary Sue would write David and send him copies of her church bulletin, so he could see his name in the prayer request section.

He appreciated that, but he still felt like just an inmate.

But one day she and her husband visited David in Leavenworth. Two things about this visit changed David.

One was he was shocked she came to visit. Leavenworth is in Kansas, but Mary Sue lived in Georgia. Why would she come all that way?

He found out they were on vacation and driving through Kansas.

…she said there was no way they could be this close and not stop to see me. Her words blew me away. Why would someone who didn’t know me from Adam be this committed to me? Why did she care so much about a drug-dealing, dishonorably discharged deserter?

The other was every time they addressed him, they called him David. He was used to being called by his last name Mike or even Inmate Mike. He said being called by his first name felt foreign.

But these two things changed how David saw himself.

…as I walked through the courtyard, I felt different. Maybe it wasn’t the courtyard; maybe it was me. I was different. Who knew that one visit could change an inmate so much.

My body felt lighter, my head was up, and I was a person. My name was David, not Inmate Mike. Someone came to see me.

I mattered.

Knowing you matter can change how you see and feel.

CHANGE YOUR MIND

I grew up thinking I didn’t matter. Many things caused that mindset.

Coming to know I mattered changed my life.

This change came about following an incident that triggered a childhood trauma of mine.

I was frustrated by the trigger because I’d thought I’d dealt with that trauma already. Apparently not enough.

Something else had to change but I didn’t know what so I prayed and asked God to help me.

God showed me there was a mindset that held me, prisoner.

When triggered there was a

toxic lie sequence that would present itself more in emotion than words.

The sequence as recorded in my book Emerging With Wings went like this:

Just shut up, no one wants to hear what you have to say. You do not matter. Everyone else is more important than you. Run away before it shows and everyone see. Shut up – you have nothing of value to say or be. Voice of the silenced.

I deeply believed this lie that I didn’t matter.

To change this mindset, I needed a weapon to kill the lie. But I also needed to build a new mindset in its place. Two words I called a silver bullet — I matter.

Over time I spoke those words over myself, over and over again and it has changed my life.

Knowing you matter can change how you think.

CHANGE YOUR PURPOSE

Sharing my story Emerging With Wings terrified me. Then I saw how much it helped people. Now I feel and see and think differently and I’ve found new purpose in sharing my journey.  I’m still a work in progress but I’ve come so far.

I am passionate about helping others change their lives too. I’ve learned that when we see that we matter, it empowers us to change in many ways. It’s a lifelong journey and we learn better with others. Together is better than alone.

I’m working on my next book OWN IT: Because You Matter. It’s about how you can take ownership of your life, so you can really live.

I want you to know you matter because the truth is – you do.

It’s important to take ownership of your value. Taking ownership of something is grabbing ahold of it and saying this is mine.

God has treasures inside you that no one else has and the world needs. My new book is to help you find those treasures and own them.

Knowing you matter can change how you live.

WHAT NEXT

• What do you think of OWN IT: Because You Matter? Is this a book you would buy? Please leave feedback in the comments.
• For the whole story of my journey and the silver bullet get Emerging With Wings here. If you have already read it and haven’t left a review yet – please write one.
• Buy David’s book Dishonor here. and you can read my review on Amazon.

Danielle Bernock

Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

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