Trauma steals a part of our lives replacing it with fear. These fears wear various faces. Fear of loss, fear of pain, fear of never feeling safe again, fear of ourselves, fear of people, fear of not having enough to eat, fear of being alone, fear of…fill in the blank.
Sometimes the fears leads to the fear of fear itself. That’s one I dealt with for a long time.
But the good news is that trauma can be healed and we can overcome the fears that plague us. We can become what I call Victorious Souls.
I suffered multiple traumas in my childhood. They were never addressed as a child, and as children often do, I hid many of them. Others I discounted, or wasn’t aware of the harm to my soul. I silently suffered and pretended I was fine. That was a lie.
Pretending you don’t have trauma won’t make you a victorious soul.
THE FIRST STEP TO VICTORY
While in counseling to write my book Emerging With Wings, I received something I didn’t know I needed. Validation. That validation turned into the following revelation.
Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin. Emerging with Wings: A True Story of Lies, Pain, and the Love That Heals
That quote from my book has gone viral. It resonates deeply because it’s true in two ways. The first is validation.
Many who have suffered trauma wrestle with self-doubt regarding the veracity of the experience causing their inner misery. Did it really happen? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Am I just imagining it? Is it my fault? Those questions need the trauma to be answered with validation.
Without validation of your trauma you’ll see it as imaginary.
Healing and victory come when wounds are tended properly with love. Share on X
THE SECOND STEP TO VICTORY
The step to victory is the second part in the above quote. The part about someone entering another’s pain. This goes beyond validation. It removes the horrible aloneness and shame caused by trauma.
When you “enter someone’s pain” you’re not only there, you hear, you make them feel safe, you make them feel loved.
Entering someone’s pain delivers comfort and can be compared to something called “holding space”.
When someone “enters your pain” it gives you courage to move forward and heal.
HOW VICTORY COMES
Each of us goes through things that wound us and change us.
I came across a meme that spoke to me at first. But after mulling it over in my mind I wasn’t sure if I agreed. It said something to the effect that for a wound to heal you have to stop touching it.
I thought about when you have a scab and you pick it, that it won’t heal. Or it’ll take a longer time while leaving a scar. In this case leaving it alone is a good thing.
But on the other hand, when an injury occurs to our bodies we need to address it. If we don’t then subsequent problems occur. For example, infection in a wound, or improper healing if a broken bone isn’t reset.
There are many ways that injuries need to be addressed, varying from a simple band aid to surgery. And if surgery occurs there is always a need for follow up.
Likewise the soul.
When we are wounded in our soul (mind, emotions, spirit) we need to address it as much as the wound requires.
Some don’t support this and call it morbid introspection or naval gazing. There was a time when I believed them and shoved the feelings underground. They’re wrong.
It wasn’t until I saw my trauma as trauma, felt safe in calling it that, and then did the inner work to heal, that I became victorious over the pain and fears that held me captive.
Becoming a victorious soul is by choice first, and then the work.
SCARS OR WOUNDS
There’s a difference between living wounded and living with scars.
Trauma that is still a wound, is open. Side effects or symptoms of the trauma are still active and pain is still prevalent.
Scars form when the trauma wound is closed. Memories remain but the trauma no longer holds power over you.
It takes time to get from wound to scar but it’s well worth the effort. You are worth the effort.
And then, once your soul heals, your scars will speak to empower others to heal too. This is why I do what I do – because I love you.
Healing and victory come when wounds are tended properly with love.
WHAT NEXT
- Where are you in YOUR healing journey?
- Hire a coach HERE.
Free tools to help:
The Victorious Souls Podcast — on the host site anchor but available in platforms everywhere.
Trauma Overcoming Interviews — on my YouTube channel.
Books to help:
Emerging With Wings — my personal story of healing.
Because You Matter — parts of my story, and also ten other stories of men and women who did the work to heal their trauma.
