Does your heart scream Why do bad things keep happening to me? I used to feel like bad things always happened to me.

I thought if something was going to go wrong, it was going to be in my life.

Everyone else seemed exempt. I had trouble being happy for others because I felt it wasn’t fair. Why do they get good things and all I get is bad? I felt so powerless and miserable.

But then I learned I had the power to stop a lot of bad things. It started with knowing that there was an actual reason causing so many bad things. It wasn’t random. Other people weren’t better than me or more deserving of good.

You can remove the biggest reason bad things keep happening.

THE BIGGEST REASON

This reason can be hard to swallow. If you choke on it, you won’t be able to stop the bad things. The biggest reason is expecting it.

Expecting the bad things to happen is a mindset but also a spiritual principle. Some call it the law of attraction. I call it faith.

My life changed once I understood and faced the truth that I was expecting bad things to keep happening.

I expected others to get good things. I was a magnet for bad things because of two things I was doing. These two things made me an enemy to myself.

The biggest reason bad things keep happening might be you expect it.

TWO THINGS NEEDED TO CHANGE

The two things I needed to change were how I thought about myself (mindset) and how I talked about myself and my life.

The change didn’t happen immediately. It wasn’t magical. But over time it has completely turned my life around.

By changing these two things I stopped the constant flow of bad things from happening in my life. Now I have a lot of good things in my life like all those other people I used to be jealous of.

At first I didn’t understand why it worked. And to some degree, it’s still a mystery. But I know it’s true.

My life is proof. We really do have the power to stop a lot of bad things.

Changing how you think, and how you talk, can change your life.

HOW IT WORKS

It all started by learning the power of words. Positive words are good but the most powerful thing we can have anything to do with is the Word of God.

You might think I mean the Bible. But ink on paper alone isn’t the power.

The power comes when the words are infused by the Spirit of Grace. God is for us, not against us, so he has good words to say to us. Filling our heart with those words changes how we think, and revolutionizes how we talk.

Jesus put it this way: the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

And then add these words: Words can bring death or life! Talk too much, and you will eat everything you say. —Proverbs 18:21 CEV

I was calling the negative things into my life with my expectation.

I was exercising faith in bad things happening and talked about it all the time.

When bad things happened, I’d complain. I’d whine. I’d grumble. My words were reinforcing the negative flow toward me.

We eat what we say out of a heart full of expectation.

FOR EXAMPLE

When I was a newlywed, whenever we went out to eat, I’d get a fork with the tines all bent, I’d have a chair that would wobble, and whenever I ordered eggs there were always shells in them.

Every.

Single.

Time.

And every time it happened, I’d complain out loud “I always get a bent fork” “I always get a wobbly chair” “I always get shells in my eggs”.

But I’d never speak up to fix the situation. I never asked for a new fork, changed chairs or got new eggs. I felt I deserved those problems. I felt I deserved bad things because I gave myself no value.

My husband had his own version of this negativity involving a derogatory nickname he called himself whenever he spilled food, especially on himself. He came to expect it. It brought the same dejected feelings as I felt when I complained of my problems.

The Spirit of Grace directed us to stop saying those things. At first, it was hard. We were used to talking like that.

But we made the change little by little. We started saying something else instead. I started speaking up for myself. Now those things rarely happen.

Those are small examples, but this one change of habit and attitude has changed our lives in every area. Now we use our mouths to say good and positive things intentionally and it brings good things to us instead of bad.

When we change what we believe and say, we change what our lives deliver.

EVIDENCE OF CHANGE

When I was in the process of buying my first new car I experienced the evidence of change in my life again.

Side note, buying a new car is part of how my life has changed all by itself. A brand-new car is a good thing I never owned before. I remember cars with holes in the floor, doors held closed with rope, and duct tape on the windows to keep them up. A good thing back then would be buying a good used car. New was not an option.

The entrance to the dealership has double doors. I’m right handed so reached for the door on the right. It was locked but the left one was open. Entering and leaving the building this one day I repeatedly reached for the door that was locked.

After a few times, I felt like:

complaining and berating myself saying “I always reach for the wrong door”.

But I caught myself and said something else instead:

I said “I’ll get it” meaning I’ll get it right, speaking confidence in myself to stop making the mistake.

The next time I did it. I reached for the unlocked door.

A small example but the premise remains true.

You have the power to call into your life what you expect. Faith calls into being what does not yet exist. —Romans 4:17

I didn’t understand all this at the beginning.

Yet following the direction of the Spirit of Grace, changing how I talked even when I didn’t understand, still changed my life.

I’m so glad we can receive the good things God has for us even when we don’t fully understand. All we need to do is follow His directions.

The Spirit of Grace wants you to call for good things in your life.

WHAT NEXT

If you feel like a magnet for bad things ask yourself these 2 questions:

1. Do you always say things like – I’m always the one laid off. I always get into car accidents. I never have enough money. I always get sick…
2. Are you willing to do this one thing and own what you say and make a change?

If you’ve made this change already, share how it’s changed your life in the comments. Encourage someone else with your story.

Danielle Bernock

Author, Coach, and Speaker helping men, women, and organizations EMERGE with clear vision of their value, TAKE ownership of their choices, and CHART a path to their promise, becoming Victorious Souls who Embrace The Change from survive to thrive through the power of the love of God

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