Trauma is widely misunderstood in general. But there are 3 different kinds of trauma that often get grouped together. Spiritual trauma, religious trauma, and church hurt. It’s important to understand they are not the same thing. Grouping them together makes healing from them more difficult. Trauma is an epidemic in our world and understanding the truth is key to overcoming the fall out.
Seeing the difference between these 3 isn’t the same as healing them, but it’s a start. I’m a Christian and have experienced all three. However these 3 traumas are not exclusive to any particular religion.
Understanding the truth is key to overcoming the fall out.
What trauma is and what it is not
One key misunderstanding regarding trauma is what it is, and what it is not. Trauma is not what happened to you. Trauma is what happened inside you. In the brain, the body, and the soul. Trauma is not what happened around you, or an experience you went through. Trauma is the wound left behind inside a person when they’ve gone through an experience their physiology was overwhelmed by.
Here we must pause to address that last sentence because shame is one side effect of trauma. However trauma is not shameful. I repeat. It it is NOT shameful to have trauma. It is not your fault.
Trauma is an involuntary wound. Involuntary. Let that sink in.
Another important factor is that trauma is personal. Two people can go through the exact same experience and emerge differently. There are many components that play a role in if, and how, trauma occurs.
People have a tendency to compare and measure in an effort to dismiss the truth. However, if a person has suffered trauma, they have been traumatized and have an internal wound. Dismissing, ignoring, and pretending will not heal the wound or make it magically disappear. Neither will the judgement and criticism of others.
Trauma comes in many varieties. This article will cover only three of them.
Simple separation of the three
Before I clearly define each of the three traumas and how they occur I want to simplify them for you. Trauma is a complex thing and it’s easy to get lost in all the terms. I believe this is one reason why many people mix these three together as one. We need things to be simpler.
Simply put:
- Spiritual trauma affects a person’s faith and existence.
- Religious trauma affects a person’s ability to fully function as an individual.
- Church hurt affects a person’s relationship with community.
As important as it is to simplify, it’s also important to elaborate so we can fully understand things.
Elaborating – Going Deeper
Spiritual trauma damages a person’s spiritual life affecting their faith and causing existential issues. This happens as a result of their core spiritual beliefs, sense of connection to the divine, or spiritual aspects of life being profoundly disrupted leaving one feeling wholly abandoned and alone. This can lead to feeling disconnected from oneself, anxiety, depression, and existential crisis. Experiences that can bring this about are cruelty, manipulation, or abuse by religious/spiritual figures, or being raised with a toxic and overbearing interpretation of their religion or spiritual belief.
Religious trauma damages a person’s mental and emotional health which impedes their ability to make clear decisions. Side effects can mimic CPTSD, including flashbacks, deep-seated fear of religious settings, shame, anxiety, attachment issues and more. It can happen when a person’s religious experience is stressful, degrading, dangerous, abusive, or damaging. Or they go through situations that harm, or threaten to harm, one’s physical, emotional, mental, sexual, or spiritual health and safety. This is often, but not exclusively, connected with those seeking to leave an authoritarian or controlling situation. In this case a person struggles to rebuild their identity outside that religious framework as well.
Church hurt damages a person’s sense of safety harming their ability to trust the church community. Experiences that can bring this about are betrayal, lying, exclusion, and nepotism. Frequently this is exacerbated by the judgement and criticism of people in the church through lack of love and validation. This leads a person into feelings of isolation, disillusionment, and complicates their spiritual journey.
What to do now
The important thing is to recognize the difference between these three, and understand that healing is possible. For healing to take place a person must address the trauma. The passing of time does not heal trauma.
The first place to start is to seek help. Healing doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Love and support are crucial components to the healing process. The tools used in the process can be progressive, just like healing is progressive. A person could start with a trauma-informed therapist or coach who understands these three particular traumas. Or they could start with reading a book, listening to a podcast, or watching videos to educate themselves.
More importantly than where they start, it’s important to start. Time alone doesn’t heal but it does take time for healing to take place. It takes time to rebuild trust, regain one’s sense of self, and redevelop a healthy spiritual life.
Will you start today? I believe in you.
How I can help
I am a trauma-informed coach who has healed from all three of these.
- Schedule a 15 minute Discovery session to see if we’re a good fit HERE.
I have two books.
- Emerging With Wings (my story of getting free and healing)
- Because You Matter (how to reclaim your life)
I have courses.
I know other people who can help.
- Contact me with what you’re looking for.
