Last week I talked about emotions. I think emotions get a bad rap as if they are responsible for all our troubles. I beg to differ.
Our minds play an important role in relation to those emotions.
The mind by definition is responsible for processing feelings and emotions. That being the case, it is beneficial to find out who is in charge.
Are you the master or the slave?
As we grow up we learn things. We go to school and learn to read, to write, to do math, and other intellectual things that use our minds.
But we are not computers.
We are people.
We have a soul.
This soul thing is made up of our emotions, our will, and our mind. The three are interdependent. They need one another.
When we fail to engage them properly, we suffer.
I know from experience.
I was an above average student throughout school (when I paid attention). But I didn’t know I could control the thoughts in my mind that were not related to school work.
Being a very sensitive and empathic person my emotions ran my inner life.
They were not allowed to run my outer life. The authorities around me did that. I was told children were to be seen and not heard so I had no voice. I grew up in a very authoritarian house.
That was until my father died and our family imploded. The home atmosphere went from overbearing control to uncontrolled chaos.
My unruly mind became horribly negative and I felt tormented.
My life went on like this until The LOVE that Heals found me and began teaching me.
We don’t have to be a slave to our mind.
We have the ability to master it.
First, let’s look at what the mind is.
The mind is a set of cognitive faculties including consciousness, perception, thinking, judgement, and memory.
The mind is the faculty of a human being’s reasoning and thoughts. It holds the power of imagination, recognition, and appreciation, and is responsible for processing feelings and emotions, resulting in attitudes and actions. ** (emphasis mine)
We don’t have to be a slave to our mind. We have the ability to master it. Share on X
The mind is not just one thing. It has many functions. Learning how to operate the mind successfully requires skill. This is important to take note of because acquiring any skill takes learning and time.
And if we want a positive and happy life we cannot hold on to a negative mind. We need to change how we think. But It takes more than just being told to think differently. We need to learn how.
Thinking is something we all do all the time. We don’t even have to be paying attention and our mind is busy with thoughts of this and that.
To become a master of your mind you need 4 things.
1 – You need to listen to your mind.
Listen to your thoughts (aka – the voices in your head). Take note of what you are thinking about.
In The Listening Life, Adam S. McHugh writes how his director likens the voices in his head to a classroom of seventh graders. You have one kid looking out the window, you have one raising her hand to answer every question, one thinking about sex, one who is counting down until lunch, one who cheats on tests, one who is acting out for attention and another who bullies all the rest of them.
What are your voices saying? Sometimes they speak in emotion and not words. Notice how they speak.
2 – You need to question your mind.
What language are your thoughts speaking in? Identify what kind of thoughts they are.
Are they single thoughts or trains/sequences? If trains, where do they end? Do they end nicely or derail you emotionally? Are the thoughts kind? Are the thoughts mean? Are the thoughts fearful?
Are the thoughts about you? Or are they about another person?
Are the thoughts beneficial or distracting? How are the thoughts making you feel?
3 – You need to decide what you want to allow in your mind.
What stays in your mind is in your power.
You get to decide if you like what is going on in your head. You get to decide if you want to continue that thought process.
You get to decide if you want to ride the trains you find. You get to decide if you need a new train.
You get to decide what needs to be changed.
We fall down on this when we don’t do the listening and questioning. When we believe the lie that we are powerless. We are not powerless. The LOVE that Heals gives us the power to take ahold of our thoughts.
4 – You need to train your mind
You can tell your mind what to think.
You can take the thoughts you do not want and intentionally replace them with what you do want.
Simply telling yourself you are not going to think that negative thought is insufficient. The negative thought must be replaced. Taking it out leaves a hole that needs to be filled.
You can tell your mind how to think. To take a new train you build a new mindset. Mindsets are called that because they are “set” or established thought patterns. (Quote from my book)
Building a new mindset is done by intentionally putting new thoughts in our minds over and over and over.
There are obvious mindsets and hidden ones.
Obvious ones are … obvious. So you know what you are addressing.
The hidden ones are the thought processes so engrained you are not aware of them. They are happening when you “find” yourself in an emotional heap wondering what just happened.
I had been held captive by a particular one of these for years until The LOVE that Heals taught me what to do.
I needed a “silver bullet”. I give the entire story in my book, but in short, a silver bullet is a specific short verbal response to say “instead” of what the emotions or fear wanted to say. I am free now!
I was a slave. But now I am free.
Mindsets form attitudes.
Attitudes drive our lives.
There was a time when I didn’t know how to do this – be the master of my mind and attitude.
Mindsets form attitudes. Attitudes drive our lives. Share on X
What next:
- How do you see yourself? As a master, a slave or somewhere in between?
- If you want to be encouraged get this free eBook now.
- Read more about my journey on my about page.
- Read Love’s Manifesto – get it now free – You’re worth it!
- Share this with someone who would benefit.
I like it, ” shoulda, woulda, coulda were in my thoughts a lot and I have trained myself not to say those words because you can’t fix it…..I am learning….I will try to replace those negatives with positive thoughts and not, a lot of “I just don’t care anymore”. Thank you
I understand that. We can’t go back in time and change anything. There is only moving forward. Glad to be of help. Thank you for sharing.
Absolutely love this. Honest, challenging, and wise – much needed post. Thanks Danielle!
Thank you James. That means a lot.
This is awesome, Danielle! I especially like this line: “You get to decide if you want to ride the trains you find.” I also like the steps you gave to analyze what’s going on in your head. If we’d all do this more, we’d have a lot less stress, confusion, and heartache.
Thank you Frank!
I believe it is very important for us to know we can do this. It might not be easy, but it is possible.